Child Psychology Questions
These are some questions which were directed at the child psychologist at askachildpsychologist.com. They may help you if you have similar problemsQuestion
Our 3 year old boy just recently started saying the word "poop" very often and then laughing heartily about it. On the one hand, it seems like a phase but, on the other hand, some family members have said it seems very unusual, and troublesome I think, to them. Is his behavior normal?
Child Psychologist Answer
In a word, yes. So normal, in fact, can you guess where the phrase "potty humor" came from? This is most common among 3 to 6 year olds and stems from their recent potty training efforts, young sense of humor, and fascination with the newfound possibilities of the human body! Your son is laughing because 1) he really is saying it in humor, and 2) at least some - if not all - other children and adults laugh at (and reinforce) it when he does so.
What to do? It will decrease, and stop, over time. If you want that to happen sooner than later then, first, ignore it as much as possible. That is, no looking at him or talking to him, at all, when he does it. Second, put limits on when he can say it, who he can say it to/with, and that he cannot say it in anger (as in sort of like a pint-size curse word). Otherwise, a normal negative consequence should occur, such as going to his room where only he could hear himself say it, or perhaps having a true time-out if the particular episode warrants it.
Otherwise, don't worry. Again, it's quite normal, and it won't last forever!
Question
I am writing about my grandchildren. My daughter (their mother) has a 2-year-old boy and 4- and 5-year-old girls. She has no real routine or schedule for them! What bothers me the most is that she keeps them up late at night, and then expects them to get up in the morning and go to daycare with no problem. She takes them shopping with her, to movies, to visit friends...and usually doesn't get home until at least 10 p.m. Then the kids aren't in bed until at least 10:30. My grandchildren are cranky and tired every time I see them, and I don't think they really do well at daycare because of it. The 2-year-old has been
aggressive and defiant at daycare and I tell my daughter it's probably because of being tired and sleepy. She won't listen to me, so maybe when I show her your answer then she'll pay some attention!
Child Psychologist Answer
I can't tell you how many children, and of EVERY age, I see out late in the evening, usually even on school nights, and I don't mean just in the summer, either. Go to the grocery store at 11 p.m., and there's a 6-year-old or similar age in every aisle; go to the movies at 9:30, and there are plenty of very young kids there going into movies; and so on. With that said, I have to then think about all of the children I have met in my office with similar histories who are just plain sleepy and tired all day every day. Your daughter needs to know that the 2-year-old needs anywhere from 10-12 hours of sleep per night, and then still nap also. The other children probably easily need 9-10 hours, and they still may nap at times, also. The way you describe it, all of them are probably getting 2 or even 3 hours less sleep than they need nightly. So, of course they're cranky and sleepy! I hope their health is otherwise ok, but health can be affected too from insufficient sleep. And, yes, the 2-year-old could well be acting out at daycare simply because of this. I've seen plenty of children who do. I hope your daughter pays heed to this but, if not, I'm sure you'll do whatever you can to make sure your grandchildren are o.k.
Question
My boyfriend has two children, ages 8 and almost 10. They have begged him for months to let them watch the t.v. show "Friends." They say that many of their own friends get to watch it, and from what I've heard they're probably telling the truth. He's about to give in, saying that since it's on so early in the evening (7:00 in our city) it can't be too bad for kids. I tell him he's nuts! What do you think? Isn't it way too risque for kids this age?
Child Psychologist Answer
I absolutely agree with you. "Friends" is typically one joke about sex, or at least some adult subject matter, after another, and non-stop from beginning to end.
Now, don't get me wrong. I am certainly no prude. I've seen it, and it can be very funny. The fact is, though, that this particular show is NOT for kids this age. Do some, or even many, young children "get" to watch it? Yes, unfortunately, they do. In those cases, though, I'm not sure many of the parents really know what most of the subject matter is. In other cases, I've seen some parents let their kids, of all ages, watch pretty much anything - anything - on the air.
At what age is it "o.k."? I can't give a set age, but from a professional perspective I have reservations about it for anyone under the late middle school or junior high school grades. At that point parents have to decide on a case by case basis, consistent with their own values and taking the kids' maturity levels into account. The bottom line question to ask yourself then: "How would my child interpret all of these double-entendres and this subject matter, and how might it change their behavior?". Of course, let's not be naive. By that age, many or virtually all(?) teens make their television watching decisions on their own.
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